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How to Break the Cycle of Bad Relationships

Updated: Sep 23, 2018



The Truth

As women, we have a natural God-given desire to love and to be loved. In spite of problems or conflicts, we never stop trying to love and be loved – it our most basic instinct. Because of our unique design as women – Satan’s plan of destruction is that we never develop healthy relationships.



"To destroy a man – damage what he does.

To destroy a woman – attack and damage her relationships."



The Challenge

Even though we have an instinct to give and receive love, we still have to develop the know-how.

How we relate to others affects how we relate to God. How we relate to God affects how we relate to others.



...So how do we break the cycle of unhealthy relationships?


There are 3 keys we must know first:


  1. We can't love others until we love ourselves.

  2. We can't love ourselves until we know who we are.

  3. We can't know who we are until we know who God is.


...Until then, our perception of ourselves is based on others' perceptions of us. We must Declare:



“I am not who others say I am. I am who God says I am”



God knows us intimately. He wants us to be whole, and for every relationship to be complete – but it must start with Him.


Learning to Trust

Where do we start? We need to reestablish our ability to trust. It is difficult to learn to trust God when others you have trusted have done you wrong. We start to look at God through clouded eyesight, damaged by people whom we once trusted who have hurt us. We see God through people instead of seeing people through God. Whatever “lens” you are looking through, will establish your focus on the object you are looking at.


Psalms 62:8 says...



"Trust in Him at all times; ye people, pour out your heart before Him. God is a refuge for us."



You will not be disappointed when you trust in the Lord. Trust is a product of love. God wants you to know that He loves you, and once you know that, you will finally be able to trust Him.


God created you in His image. He sees you as His beautiful daughter. Look at your hands – no one in the world has your hands and fingerprints. You are unique and unduplicated in all creation – you are set apart. It is the fact that you are unique that gives you value. Throughout 10 thousand millenniums, eons before He formed the earth, God has always loved you. He has always had you on His mind. His love for you is always there.


When you understand WHO GOD IS; that HE IS LOVE, you can understand who YOU ARE; HIS DELIGHT, then you can LOVE YOURSELF and thus DEMAND THE SAME OF OTHERS...



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